Becoming My True Self

Reflecting on identity, community and belonging during Pride Month

Shiloh shares their personal journey of self-discovery, transition and finding support at Bronson, and how that experience helped create a path for others.

Shiloh’s Story

My name is Shiloh Lilly Irvine-Dale. My pronouns are She/Her or They/Them. I am 34 years old and have been out and transitioned for six years. This will be my twelfth year at Bronson and part of the IT Deskside team. I have worked all four campuses and dozens of offsite offices.

My story starts back around the time I hit male puberty. I kept having this “second” voice in my head. This voice was fighting for something that went against everything I had been told growing up. I fought for years with this voice driving me to have very dark and self-harming thoughts that, luckily, I overcame.

2017 was one of the hardest years in my life. I lost a parental figure and my 17-year-old Beagle that I had since I was 8 years old. In 2018 I could no longer continue down the path that I was walking and decided to investigate what I was feeling and struggling with. I learned that I was not alone. Slowly, I found myself.

Coming Out and Finding Support at Work

In May of 2019, I came out to my blood relatives and sadly, it was not the most supportive and welcoming reception. 2019 was the year of coming out to close friends and family.

In July of 2020, the year of COVID-19, I could no longer sit on the sidelines and took charge of my journey. I scheduled a meeting with my boss, Melissa Sarenius, and came out to her. The funny part of it was I had outed myself without knowing I did when I put a Trans Pride heart pendant on the lapel of my dress coat. She had done her research beforehand. Over the month, Melissa and Nikki Adams worked with HR and Employee Relations to understand what the policy was and how transitioning could be a process that supports rather than hinders in the workplace.

At the time, there was no formal process, and each case was handled on a case-by-case basis. In August 2020, I met with my team and came out to them. The response and support were amazing. I left that meeting and told my other teammates who I support in Van Buren County. Again, the response and support were amazing.

Helping Create a Path for Others

In 2021, I reached out to several people about creating a more defined process for members of the transgender community. I did not want anyone to go through the process alone. A committee was formed that helped formally write a process.

In September 2023, I completed my name change. Melissa, Nikki and my team celebrated that moment with me.

Living as My True Self

Today I am living proof you can accomplish being your true self. I learned that family does not always mean blood. Family are those that love you and support you through thick and thin. The list of people I gained over the past six years, words cannot describe.

I found my true love and was happily married in 2025. Melissa officiated our wedding.

Just know, even when you are at your lowest, there is someone who cares and supports you.