School Bus Bullying and Building Kids’ Resilience

School bus bullying is relatively common and happens daily. Sometimes it is hard to tell if your child is being bullied because they may not like to talk about it. They often feel they can resolve the issue themselves, or they may not know how to resolve it and don’t know how to ask for help.

Signs That Something is Wrong

As a parent and you notice changes in your child’s behavior—like asking you to take them to school instead of riding the bus, avoiding going to school altogether or frequently complaining of headaches and stomachaches—you may feel inclined to probe.

Questions to Ask Gently

Open-ended, non-judgmental questions can help your child open up. For example:

• Do you ever see kids picking on other kids?
• Do kids ever pick on you?
• Do you ever pick on kids? And tell the truth; you're not in trouble.

Consider talking to the bus driver at a time when they are not in route. A nationwide survey in 2010 by the National Education Association showed that bus drivers are aware of bullying and want to know how best to help. If needed, talk to school admin to help you set up a time to talk with the bus driver.

What You Can Do as a Parent or Guardian

If bullying is happening at the bus stop, involve the school administration so they can raise awareness about bullying among students, send a general message home to parents, and, if necessary, directly monitor the stop.

As always, if you have concerns that the stomachaches or headaches have a medical basis, don’t hesitate to contact your child’s pediatrician!

Helping Your Child Confidence & Resilience

When kids don’t feel an immense amount of pressure from the adults in their lives, they are better able to make decisions on their own. This can lead to personal growth and development. Sometimes kids need to be on their own to discover themselves and their independence.

So what would you think of putting three groups of kids under age 7 in a major city to find a major landmark on their own?

One interesting example: psychologists in London grouped children under age 7 and had them navigate from a park to a bus stop using a map, souvenir shop and bus route - without direct adult assistance. The goal was to encourage decision-making and problem-solving in a safe but challenging environment.

Kids will always need supervision. However, if we can provide it in a non-intrusive way, we will create a world for them that is free, non-pressured and ripe for decision making that will contribute to a healthy development.