Skipping the New Year's Resolution and Creating Mental Wellness

Brandy Currie, LCSW, Psychotherapist & Clinical Behavioral Health Trainer, Bronson HelpNet EAP

The start of a new year often brings back memories of years past. And if you are like me, you are grateful for the ability to utter those three words – “Happy New Year!” as the clock strikes midnight on January 1.

As we welcome the new year, we are also reminded in the news, on social media and amongst the whisper of our very motivated friends and colleagues, that the time is upon us. What time is that? The time for New Year’s resolutions. Each year as the bustle of the holiday season comes to a close, we realize that now is “the time” to make a change in our life. And for many of us, while a change in our quality of life is great, this is when we start thinking at giving another try to whatever goal or New Year’s resolution we have not successfully achieved in previous years. And though we set our New Year’s goal with good intentions, what happens when we start losing steam? What happens when we allow our negative thoughts about who we are and how determined or committed to things we are begin to creep in? Check out these stats:

• 41% of U.S. adults make New Year’s resolutions. However, an average of 9% are successful in keeping them.
• 23% of people who make a New Year’s resolution make it past the first week.
• 43% of people who make a New Year’s resolution end up quitting the end of January.

In no way, by looking into these stats, are we shaming people who make resolutions. However, it shows a clearer picture of what may work or not work.

The most common types of New Year’s resolutions people are making include:

• Working out more/improving fitness
• Losing weight
• Drinking less alcohol
• Improving mental health

Another interesting stat: 64% of women and 60% of men feel pressured to have a New Year’s resolution. It is clear that so many of us feel the pressure to commit to something, share it with the world and then, most likely, not follow through in the long-term.

I don’t know about you, but this sounds counterintuitive to starting our new year in a healthy, positive way. What if there was an alternative? A way for us to improve our quality of life without giving ourselves a reason to think poorly of ourselves. A way for us to focus on ourselves, by our own standards, at a realistic pace. What is needed to create this mental wellness?

First, we must clarify that mental wellness does not mean you are free from worry or adversity. It simply means you are able to adapt to that adversity as it comes at you. The new year is sure to have its ups and downs – the ebbs and flows of life – but here are a few things to focus on so that you can achieve mental wellness as it fits you in the new year.

Keys to Mental Wellness

1. Learn your strengths.
   Are you organized? Can you problem solve with ease? Do you think practically and precisely? Focus on what you do well! Not only does this allow you to contribute your strengths to others both personally and professionally, but it also allows you to recognize similar or different strengths in others. Use this knowledge to lift others up around you.
2. Create boundaries.
   Healthy boundaries are rules and limits we set for ourselves within relationships. Boundaries allow us to say ‘no’ when we feel overwhelmed or have hit a personal limit, yet still be open enough to experience intimacy and friendship in close relationships. Having self-respect and knowing your own limits and what you value in life helps you create peace in your life. Communicate your boundaries to those around you, and make it a point to learn about other’s boundaries, too.
3. Set flexible goals.
   You’re a human with many responsibilities. Remember that “slow and steady wins the race.” If your goal is to lose weight, start by taking a walk every day at lunch or choose foods that align with your objectives. If you want to improve your finances, your first step should be to create a realistic budget. Don’t deprive yourself of everything you enjoy. This will cause you to feel deprived and you won’t want to follow through. If you see that you need more emotional regulation in your life, you must first learn the various emotions that you express. It is important to see these emotions not as “good” or “bad”, but just emotions and feelings that must be felt and moved through.

As we enter another year, know that you don’t need a New Year’s resolution to find peace and happiness. Focus on overall personal wellness. Learn what fits your lifestyle and your values. You know yourself better than anyone else. Trust yourself.

If you need someone to talk to about life, relationships, anxiety or depression, contact Bronson HelpNet Behavioral Health Specialists. With locations in Battle Creek and Kalamazoo, our therapists are available for both in-person and virtual counseling. If your employer is a member of Bronson HelpNet Employee Assistance Program (EAP), some counseling services are available to you free of charge, plus we offer several additional services to help you achieve a better work-life balance.